What would you say is the strangest thing you ever saw on your TV set? With so many channels and so much weirdness out there, it might be hard to pick. But I have no doubt what my choice would be. Nothing could ever come close to this.
 
It happened back in the days when I had my 10-foot C-Band satellite dish. In case you’re not familiar with them, those were those big dishes that scanned the satellites and stopped at each one, allowing you to look at all 24 transponders to see what was up there.
 
Some, like Galaxy 1, was home to HBO, Showtime, TBS and more regular channels. Others were simply used to occasionally feed news clips, live shots and even full TV shows back to the networks. (For example, I used to watch the newest episode of Law & Order commercial free three days before it aired on NBC.) Many of these feeds, though, were unscheduled and you just had to happen to tune in
 
Which brings me back to the topic at hand. While you would occasionally see a reporter being uplinked from a remote location waiting to go on and talking smack about his co-workers, other times stuff just appeared with no explanation at all.
 
And so it was that I was watching Telstar 5 one night a very long time ago, when a signal popped up, featuring what I later learned was random viz from something called The Jim Rose Circus. This was a travelling band of misfits that put on a classic freak show in clubs. Obviously one of the TV stations must have sent a camera when it came to their town.
 
As this feed went back to some unknown station, the ringmaster introduced a guy known as “The Amazing Mr. Lifto.” What was Mr. Lifto’s singular talent? How do I put this delicately? He used to attach some heavy weights to two different parts of the male anatomy and then stand up, trying to lift them off the ground.
 
I only know of one other dish head who saw this besides me and he always used to talk about it. I’m pretty sure it was being sent back to a station somewhere in the U.S. for the private enjoyment of their employees because there was no way in the world that was ever getting on air.
 
It’s been decades since that happened but I’ve never forgotten it and it definitely stands as the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen on TV. And I hope I never see it again!
 
By the way, if you’re at all curious you can view a photo of the guy in action here. But be warned – once you look, you can never unsee this! This is not for kids!