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July 9, 2021 7:07 pm  #1


Any collectors have this spot?

Backstory: When I was learning to write copy in about 1983, Bob Humenick gave me a massive box full of award-winning radio commercials from the RAB and the RBC to learn from. The transcript below is one of many I committed to memory.

...but now I need the actual audio for a project I'm working on.  The last few days I've asked Larry MacInnis, Mike Occomore, Terry O'Reilly, the legendary pack-rat Doug Thompson, and even Lisa Orkin... and while almost everybody remembers the spot, nobody remembers who the VO talent was, and nobody has it.  Not even the RAB.

I even asked Dick Orkin about it a few years back. He said, "That sounds a lot like something I would have written, but it's not mine."

The GUY in the VO sounded a lot like some of the dim-witted characters that Dick used to do, but in a lower vocal range.  (I think he also did the spot for King Oscar Sardines where the director complained that he was saying his S's funny, so asked him to edit out the S's as he did the read.)
I wish I could offer more guidance, but that's all I've got.

ANY leads would be appreciated.  Thank you.
Here's the script:
SFX: (door knocks & opens)

MAN: Hi, are you Mary?

WOMAN: Yes, are you —

MAN: Bob, your blind date. Listen, I hope you’re ready; I thought we’d skip the restaurant and just have dinner with my folks.

WOMAN: Oh!

MAN: Here’s your copy of the pre-nup, I also found a nice little three-bedroom bungalow we could look at, and – do you like kids? I thought we could -

WOMAN: (interrupting) Wow, you move awfully fast.

MAN: Yeah, well, I work for Sir Speedy.

WOMAN: Oh?

MAN: Yeah, at Sir Speedy we do printing and copying and we do it fast – sometimes while you wait. So I got into the habit of doing everything fast.

WOMAN: Including getting dressed?

MAN: Yeah, how’d you know?

WOMAN: You forgot your pants.

MAN: Oh. Right. Well, I had a nice time, g’bye.

SFX: (door closes)

Last edited by Neil Hedley (July 9, 2021 7:09 pm)

 

July 10, 2021 11:51 am  #2


Re: Any collectors have this spot?

Neil, Val says try Warren Cosford, "he has copies of everything."

 

July 10, 2021 1:01 pm  #3


Re: Any collectors have this spot?

Who's "Val"?

 

July 10, 2021 6:05 pm  #4


Re: Any collectors have this spot?

Mrs. Marshall. CKOC, CHUM, CFTR, CHFI, CKFM, MIX 99.9 and CFRB.

 

July 10, 2021 6:35 pm  #5


Re: Any collectors have this spot?

Doug Thompson would by my first stop.
Please tell Val I said hi .

mike marshall wrote:

Neil, Val says try Warren Cosford, "he has copies of everything."

 


Madness takes its toll.  Please have exact change.
 
 

July 10, 2021 8:59 pm  #6


Re: Any collectors have this spot?

Hello from Val, Iain. Hope you are well!

 

July 11, 2021 4:11 pm  #7


Re: Any collectors have this spot?

Dick Orkin, the guy behind Chickenman in the 60s, was incredible. In the late 1970s, I was working for CKEY, which had the rights at the time to CBS News. They used to play a series of his spots for Time Magazine during their newscasts that actually made you want to listen to the commercials.

There are two that stand out. In the first, a couple walk into a restaurant and start debating about who the guy sitting at one of the tables is. "He's that old artist or that new author or that great actor or something," she says to her husband, who is equally jazzed that this famous person is in the establishment. They talk about how they've almost certainly read about his exploits in Time Magazine and decide they want to meet him. 

So they sheepishly go up to his table and introduce themselves, gushing about how much they admire his work and ask for his autograph. He signs their paper then he replies, "Thanks! I snaked out your pipes last week." At which point they beat out an embarrassed hasty retreat, while the tag line reminds you that you meet the most interesting people in Time. 

The other spot contains what I still believe is the greatest tag line in commercial history. This same couple goes into a car dealership and admires an automobile called "The Fucci Manuli." A salesman comes up to them, asks them if they'd like to see the car and opens one of the doors, only to find a copy of Time Magazine sitting on the seats. He tells them the state of the art car deserves a state of the art magazine and a copy of Time comes with each vehicle. 

They're very impressed and start thumbling through the publication, asking how much the car sells for. 

"$300,000," replies the salesman. 

At which point, they put the magazine back inside and scamper out the door, knowing they could never afford such an expensive vehicle. 

And the tag line is:

"Time Magazine. It's the Fucci Manuli of magazines. Pick up a copy."

Brilliant. It's been more than 40 years and I still remember both of them. They don't make radio spots like that today. 

 

July 11, 2021 7:51 pm  #8


Re: Any collectors have this spot?

One of the funniest ads was the one where Orkin enters a porno shop to purchase a Time magazine. Well the sign on the store did say magazines for sale.