I did something for the first time on Wednesday I’ve never done before – turn off every local station’s noon newscast in absolute disgust. It’s been my habit for years to watch the nooners on the three main local stations that do them in Toronto. (Yes, I can get it all off the web, but old habits die hard.) But this day was like none I’ve ever seen.  
 
First, an admission that may not endear me to many. I can’t stand the Royals and care nothing about their wedding. (While I acknowledge the historical significance of the Windsors, I would argue that we live in a supposedly modern world where a caste system, like slavery and feudalism, are long and rightfully left to the trash heaps of history. So what, exactly, is their claim to fame? They were born, period. Boy, that’s quite an accomplishment, shared by several billion people around the world who are also getting married at some point in their lives but who get no attention whatsoever. But I digress.)
 
There is a lot going on today – a cyclist in the city was fatally injured by a truck, an alleged drunk driver appears to have killed her passenger in a terrible crash, the election is coming with more promises made, the Middle East continues to explode, the potential cancellation of the Korea talks, etc. etc. So here’s what the three locals who do a noon newscast decided to lead with on Wednesday:
 
CTV
 
The Royal wedding. I realize it’s a popular choice for some producers, but they devoted more than 6 minutes of non-news off the top to this thing – and it doesn’t even happen for four days. The fact that there’s nothing really to say about this “momentous” event until it takes place hasn’t stopped any of them from covering every conceivable ridiculous angle from what kind of flowers are being used to Burger King offering a Royal Wedding special until after the weekend. But Global News takes the wedding cake - they did an entire segment on a so-called handwriting expert analyzing the couple’s penmanship! Enough, already! (I’m going into hiding on Saturday and won’t turn on a radio, TV or computer until this endless hype is all over.)
 
CBC
 
Their simulcast of NewsWorld consisted entirely of a preening and ever virtual signaling Prime Minister Justin Trudeau giving a commencement address to New York University grads at Yankee Stadium. I suppose it’s within the CBC’s mandate to do this kind of stuff, but it’s not really news, per se. (CTV devoted about 7 minutes of live coverage to this later in their show.) I couldn’t turn off the drama teacher’s unctuous lecturing fast enough.
 
Global
 
This is probably the one that irks me the most. With everything else happening, Global decided to devote the first all important five minutes or more of its newscast to – are you ready? – a station promotion called "Greater Toronto Day." This seems to be some sort of Corus corporate PR stunt, ostensibly to get you to perform an act of kindness for someone else. A nice gesture, perhaps, but leading your newscast with a glorified PSA that felt like it went on for half an hour? Wow. I strongly suspect the producer responsible wasn’t given a lot of choice on this one.

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As someone who’s spent a large portion of his life in TV newsrooms, I know that it’s not always easy finding a great lead on a slow day and it’s easy to criticize. But this was ridiculous. And for the first time I can ever remember, I just wound up turning off the TV.

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