Exterior: Gray dull late morning.  Muddy field standing in as large parking lot.  Zubaz pants as far as the eye can see.  
Hero is seen stumbling about the bed of rusted out but surprisingly still road-legal Chevy pickup.  Hero tips a bowling ball to his mouth and swallows the peppermint Schnapps secreted in the finger holes.  Dumping down the bowling ball Hero tilts backwards over the tailgate and falls onto folding table.
Heroine is seen coming into frame.  Dressed in far too small cutoffs, a midriff exposing Joe Ferguson Fan Club t-shirt and Buffalo red, white and blue facepaint although the red is likely blood.  Heroine shows great compassion to the fallen Hero as she gently leans over his prone body amongst the shattered remnants of the folding table.
Heroine vomits on Hero.
End Scene.

Last edited by Buzzy Krumhunger (May 22, 2025 9:00 am)

RadioActive wrote:

That actually sounds a lot better than whatever generic formula script they'll come up with.

All these movies are exactly the same and they just keep making the same ones over and over and over. The fact that people still watch them speaks volumes. But at least it's good for business in Ontario, since many of those generic "quaint villages" they take place in are located here.  

Do you think Trump will be able to reshore those villages? Make America Quaint Again?

 

Last edited by DX (May 22, 2025 10:54 am)

Forward Power wrote:

A bunch of these movies were shot in Almonte, a beautiful little town on the Mississippi River just west of Ottawa, and the hometown of basketball inventor James Naismith.

And Port Perry, which in reality splashes passionately in the fetid, swampy racial waters as a salute to the worst of the Deep South.

Personal recollection aside, I recommend 'Crimson Peak' as a suitably Buffalo movie (most of which was shot in and around the GTA).