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I never agreed with those who say viewing a baseball game is like watching paint dry, but there are those who feel that way.
They may be happy to hear of a deliberate baseball broadcast that's expressly designed to lull listeners to sleep. It comes from a radio guy in Minnesota, who does all the voices for the fake games, and puts them up on the Internet so you can play them when you can't quite slip into the arm of Morpheus.
Welcome to Northwoods Baseball Sleep Radio, a broadcast podcast designed for those who can't get any shuteye. Every show contains a long game between two non-descript teams designed to getting your eyes to snap shut and stay that way all night.
"It's between two minor league, small-town Midwestern teams that you've never heard of and don't really care about.
The low-key, play-by-play announcer drones on, calling strikes, pop-ups, grounders and foul balls, leaving long, languorous pauses between pitches when all you hear is the staticky, distant murmur of the crowd in the stands.
This goes on for hours, the innings drag by in the background as you spend a summer day puttering in your garage or lounging in a hammock."
There's even a sleepy jingle that introduces the whole thing. And just like in any baseball game, it's a (base) hit with some.
Curious what it sounds like? There's a sample below. Just be careful not to let your head hit the keyboard or your phone as you listen.
Want to nod off? This fake baseball radio podcast is designed to make you fall asleep
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Just watch the Jays this season, the result will be the same.